The Tragic Love Story of Magnus and Camille. @ShadowhuntersTV

I finally forced myself to watch season 2, episode 4 again. No, I don’t remember the title, and I don’t care.

All of the things I wrote about in my previous rant still stand. This show has still lost the color and life that made it unique among teen shows, and the producers are still dragging fans down the primrose path to endless contrived conflict, angst, and woe. I can’t even get over the similarity of next week’s plot to the brilliant Buffy S5 episode Forever! (Only, Dawn was what, 15, and understandably an idiot?)

But that’s not what woke me up in a horrible EUREKA! moment in the middle of the night last night. Nor is it the still utterly incredible fact that the writers want us to believe that Magnus Bane was going to jump off Blackfriar’s Bridge. It was this:

Magnus To Simon: “You have your rock. I have mine.”

Simon’s Rock = Clary. His best friend since childhood. The only woman he has ever loved. The woman he would, and has, literally died for. The person he always counts on. The person he also turns to when things are at their best, at their worst, when he is terrified, confused, lost. She is the core of him. His person.

Now, let’s extrapolate from that.

Magnus’ Rock = Camille Belcourt. Eater of children. Monster who loves to randomly turn innocent mundanes and slaughter them for fun. And THAT is just what we know from S2, since apparently we’re supposed to completely disregard S1 and the books. (So I can’t quote the horrible way she treated Magnus –and everybody else– for hundreds of years, because we’re not supposed to talk about that. Ragnor? Ragnor who? Books? There are books about this universe?)

What does that say about Magnus? I don’t care how many alleged bridges somebody stopped me from jumping off of…

(Oh, which reminds me: “SHE WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO CARED ENOUGH TO STOP ME?” Utter bullshit, or just a reminder that the creators of season 2 expect us to have a S1 and books memory wipe? Magnus has had MANY friends, and NOT THE LEAST OF WHICH include Catarina Loss — whose name the writers love to toss around, but never actually expound on. I SHUDDER TO THINK what they would do to her wonderful character, so it’s perhaps for the best that they KEEP THEIR NASTY FINGERS OFF. Why should anybody who hasn’t read the books give a shit, if any of that is irrelevant? She would NEVER, EVER have let Magnus do anything like kill himself. The very thought of that is OFFENSIVE. And what about RAGNOR FELL? Remember him? Oh, right, we’re not supposed to, because he died in S1, and thus, never existed.)

Ehem. Anyway — I don’t care if someone saved my life. If they are a vile, evil murdering monster FOR FUN, they are not my ROCK, they are my next call to the Clave. Or since Magnus hates the Clave (wait, does he? or was that the books and season 1?), whoever the vampire next in charge is. In fact, I believe it’s his beloved Raphael. But we can’t know that because we’re not supposed to use Season 1 or the books as backstory.

If Magnus was an ACTUAL HERO, he would have stopped her himself. I don’t give a shit what he feels like he owes her. He is complicit in possibly THOUSANDS of horrible murders and shattered lives! And you want me to believe this SAME warlock takes in troubled, lost Downworlders, shows compassion and caring for others, and finally turns her in because ONE vampire–family or not–is in danger? How does that make ANY KIND OF NARRATIVE SENSE? See the dissonance there? ONE vampire…THOUSANDS of mundanes.

Either that is some just horrible character mutilation, or these writers and producers SUCK, can’t be bothered to think things through, and don’t give half a shit about continuity.

Or maybe I just thought too highly of my former hero, Magnus Bane, in the first place. My bad. No, he was worth it. He’s just not anymore. Pair him up with, Alec, “Yeah, I’m a little depressed about ripping Jocelyn’s heart out of her chest, but HEY! Want a beer?” Lightwood — why would I give a shit about this Malec? I don’t ship them just because they’re a LGBT couple, or because they’re cute or have chemistry — I SHIPPED THEM BECAUSE I GOT AND LIKED THE CHARACTERS. There is no Malec without a Magnus that I like and relate to. There is no Malec without an Alec whose emotional journey makes any sense whatsoever.

Don’t blame me for this, blame the writer, Peter Binswanger, Director Gregory Smith, and no doubt the Wangst Productions Dynamo Team of McG, Matthew Hastings, Todd Slavkin, and Darren Swimmer.

Oh, and one final thought to leave you with: if Jocelyn is randomly dead, and Camille is the one true love of Magnus’ life:

WHAT ELSE ARE THEY WILLING TO CHANGE? ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THE ENDGAME YOU WERE LOOKING FORWARD TO? Malec, I’m looking at you! And Clace fans? Can you be sure of who is going to die/change sides/hook up with some random character/etc. AT ALL?

The answer to that question is: No. I don’t need or want to watch a show where I know what’s exactly going to happen next. But I need characters whose past and present development make ANY kind of sense, and don’t veer off in some ridiculous direction that makes me wonder who the hell I thought they were in the first place. It’s called CONTINUITY, producers! You’re supposed to be these GREAT genre show creative team, and you can’t be bothered to make one thing stick to the next?

Dear Shadowhunters Creators: Would you like lessons in properly adapting a book series to television without either being trapped by said series or slaughtering the best things about its action, spirit, and characters?

WATCH OUTLANDER SOMETIME.

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