Um, so… about that crow I ate a few weeks ago…

Actually, I’m a vegetarian and crows and ravens are my favorite birds, so I wouldn’t LITERALLY eat any…

But… me culpa. Mea maxima culpa. (For those who aren’t aware, this means “My fault. My most grievous fault.” It’s part of Catholic liturgy.) Ya say it when ya fucked up.

I’m not going to apologize, exactly, or disavow any of the things I’ve said about the show this season. I wasn’t happy with the way things were going. I’m not saying it’s absolutely perfect now, either, but things are definitely looking up. (Except Magnus’ look. WHY, HABERDASHERY GODS, WHY?)

And I just totally jinxed myself, didn’t I?

Anyway, I still think that Magnus (and by extention, Camille) has been grossly mis-characterized and retconned in some ways, and  I don’t think they (the writers/producers) can recover from that in my eyes, BUT.

BUT.

Then episode five happened. ALL THE FEELS! Not the least of which by far was Magnus’ conversation with Clary about mothers. His mother, specifically. I wasn’t married to the way she died in the books — no matter the method, it destroyed Magnus, and I believe it lies at the core of his depression/self-esteem issues. Then there’s the “stepdad tried to drown me so I fried the fuck out of him with my magic,” but that hasn’t been established on the show.

That he hangs on to and displays the knife/sword that his mother killed herself with when she found out what Magnus was is fucking PROFOUND. It’s heartbreaking, and yet, it could almost be seen as an act of defiance as well. “Maybe I’m horrible. Maybe you hated me, but I’m still here.” I don’t like to think it’s strictly a symbol of some kind of martyrdom, but I’m sure it’s a sign of grief, loss, and the part of himself that still agrees with her. (Hence: many lovers. A lot of hyper-sexual people are looking for something they never received, or lost, as a child.)

But the tenderness and understanding, but absolutely no BS attitude, he showed a broken Clary about it just made me fall in love with him all over again. Harry can’t NOT yank at my heartstrings with that face, those eyes. Oy. Anyway, so the ep was so good, the end really made me cry (for all those left behind — not a fan of Joyce). And how good is Dom Sherwood this season. DAMN, BOI!

THEN along came…. episode 6. Yeah, you know what I’m talking about. Malec. 17,000. Pool hustle — throwing the pool shot. KISSING. COCKBLOCK! Come on, so cute! I love that they made the number of Magnus’ lovers so outrageous that it was almost a joke. (Friends of mine did the math. I’m just repeating it) Let’s say he is 800-ish years old, since we don’t know for sure on the show. So:

17,000/800 = 21.25/year

Now… that’s high, but ultimately, not obnoxiously high. Plus, Magnus doesn’t strike me as the kind of warlock that would, say, turn down a good orgy (remember the harem in Pandemonium?), so you could be looking at 10-50 beings at once. (I suspect he rounded down though.)  “Relationships”= “sex partners,” obviously. I think that Magnus could probably count the people he has truly, deeply loved in a romantic way on his and Alec’s fingers and toes, max.

Magnus’ dedication to hedonism of a sexual nature is also kind of tragic. I’ve discussed before that the utter rejection by his parents really gutted him, and he’s spent all the years since looking for something to fill that hole. Alec becomes his family, and finally does. *sniff* MY BBS!

So, all is fictionally forgiven — for now. I don’t trust this creative crew as far as I can throw them, but… we’ll see.

Oh, also, could they PLEASE make Magnus glitter and shine AT ALL? If I see him in black, midnight blue, or army green again, I’m going fan-postal. I reserve the right to throw hissy fits at any time. Thank you, and goodnight.

(I love you, Magnus.)

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